Distant Words Publishing - Site Updates

Blog: Emails, Newsletters, and Updates... Oh My!

Sun, 04 Jan 2026 00:42:06 GMT

Emails, Newsletters, and Updates... Oh My! posted by RPLauer on January 4, 2026:

Before I get into the meat of this post, I shall go ahead and address a possible elephant. I realize that I have been completely silent on my own websites for almost two full years, and my social media presence has been almost equally lacking during the same time-frame. This is not quite the time or place for me to get into that, but I do hope to soon; most likely on rplauer.com. This post has a more specific purpose, so let's just jump into it.

When last I posted here, I mentioned hitting a snag in a Newsletter script I was working on for my colleague TA Nieman. The original intention had been to get to work on fixing that snag. Unfortunately life happened - including the death of my laptop thanks to Microsoft's inability to respect my choices - and ultimately here we are now.

However, I did finally get a new laptop a while back, and even though motivation has still been an issue I struggle with every moment of every day, I did in fact return to coding.

One of the first things I've done since getting back into the swing of things was to update some aspects that really should have been done five years ago, including (but not limited to):

Email Verification

From now on, all new registrations will be required to verify their email addresses before having access to any email related features. I've also added the ability to change your email address through the My Account section. All email address changes will also have to be verified before the update will be reflected in your account.

Verification is a simple process of having an email sent to the address on file with a link, click the link, and boom, you're verified.

For right now, I'm allowing emails to go through for any previously registered accounts that signed up for Blog Post Subscriptions. However, at some point I will be adjusting the code to only include verified email addresses when sending out those emails.

Contact Us Email

Apparently I never had the Contact Us script send an email to the person filling out the form. This was clearly an oversight on my part, and has since been fixed.

Newsletter

And now the real point of this post. I have finally gotten back to fixing the snag, and while it's not what I truly wanted, it'll do just fine. For the sites that utilize the new Newsletter section, signing up will require a registered account that has been verified. Subscribing and unsubscribing will be as simple as clicking a single link while logged in.

Each Newsletter will have a link to a web based version of the Newsletter as well as the Newsletter itself, and a link to unsubscribe.

Distant Web will technically have the Newsletter enabled, but it's not a real Newsletter; it's enabled strictly for testing purposes only, so please do NOT sign up on distantweb.net. TA Nieman, however, will be a real Newsletter once she gets it set up, so absolutely feel free to sign up for that once it's ready.

I'm not a huge fan of requiring registration in order to sign up for the Newsletter, but it will counter the bot problem I had before. Perhaps in the future I can come up with a better solution to allow non-registered individuals to sign up with their email addresses, but only time will tell.

That's all I have for right now. There's a lot that's been on my mind lately, some of which I'm sure I'd be willing to share if I had the motivation, but motivation is exactly what I have been lacking the last few years. I'm trying to break the stagnation I've felt, but it's difficult.

Hopefully soon I'll post more, either here or on rplauer.com, but until then, take care of yourself, whoever you are, and thank you for reading.

P.S. If you have any thoughts or suggestions on anything covered here, especially when it comes to the site itself and functionality, please don't hesitate to leave a comment.

Blog: Newsletter Snag

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 17:34:04 GMT

Newsletter Snag posted by RPLauer on April 1, 2024:

Last year my colleague, TA Nieman, published her debut novel. I did my best to help her along the way, including light editing, formatting and preparing files for publication, putting together the website, etc. In the lead-up to release, she had wanted me to put together a newsletter for her.

I have never had any need or desire for a newsletter, but I did my best to tackle the project. Unfortunately, something went very wrong, thus this post.

Without going into too much detail, the bottom line is that due to a lack of proper checks, the newsletter section of the site got slammed with spam bots. TA had wanted the sign-up to be as smooth and simple as possible, basically wanting a simple email field and a submit button. I had hoped that this would be ok, but of course it was not.

My own test newsletter (which specifically said not to sign up because it was only for my own testing purposes) as well as TA's both got over a thousand new sign-ups almost overnight. And yes, these were in fact garbage sign-ups.

One oversight on my part was that I did not add a timestamp field in the database to mark the exact time any given entry was added. Why? Well, it never occurred to me that it would matter. I don't like collecting data that isn't necessary as it just takes up needless space, and I simply did not anticipate needing to weed out spam entries.

What this means is that the entire database is going to need to be dumped. I have no way of knowing which entries are good and which are bad, outside of some of the email addresses that are clearly garbage. And as there are now about three thousand entries, it's just too much to do anything other than purge it all.

I am also not quite sure how to proceed. I either need to try and work in some checks to try and ensure that only humans are submitting their email addresses to sign up, or I need to go a 3rd party route. My web host does have a built in mailing list feature, but I checked it out and it is garbage. Absolute garbage.

I have a few thoughts on how to integrate some checks on what I already have done, but I don't know if some of them will work, and the others I fear may be too intrusive. For example, I thought about making it so that only registered users who are signed in will be able to sign up, but I really don't want to force a full registration just to sign up for a newsletter.

A few notes really quick: The built in mailing list section of my web host forces any given user to do a full registration on some outside system in order to sign up, including username, password, email address, and other personal information. Also, my own current registration system has so far never been compromised by spam bots.

Anyway, that is about all I have to say. I tried my best to keep this somewhat short (trust me, I had a lot more to say). As of now, I'm still trying to decide the best path to take. No matter what though, all current sign-ups are going to have to be purged. If you are reading this and have any thoughts or suggestions, I'm all eyes (since I assume you'll write your response instead of speak it).

Thank you for your time, and sorry for any inconveniences this snag may have created.

Blog: Goodbye Evvy: Dealing With Greif

Wed, 24 Aug 2022 02:07:24 GMT

Goodbye Evvy: Dealing With Greif posted by RPLauer on August 24, 2022:

I'm going to warn you in advance, dear reader; you probably don't want to read this. This is a painful writing about the loss of a loved one. If you decide to stop here and now, I will truly understand, and it will probably be for the better. I'm not writing this for you, after all; I'm writing this for me. Not that I expect it to do any good.

With that said:

It's been about a month and a half since I had to say goodbye to our family dog, our forever puppy, Evvy. And I am still feeling it very deeply. It haunts me, and I still see it and feel it every second of every day. I've been falling further and further down, and I honestly don't even know how to recover at this point.

Right here, I feel I should point out that I am a very empathetic person; too empathetic in fact. I feel too deeply. I can't even read articles about strangers that suffer without crying myself; that is just who I am. Many people over the years have tried to make me feel bad about this, and maybe I am just a freak. I don't see these levels of empathy from others, so yeah, I am a freak. But I cannot change that about myself; god how I wish I could. This level of empathy has been of great cost to me throughout my life, I have gone to great lengths to suppress this empathy in fact, and this situation is just yet another example of how detrimentally it affects me.

Anyway, moving on.

This situation with our puppy had been building for about two years, with the last year or so representing a rapid deterioration of our once happy, healthy, and buoyant puppy. She really was a special dog. Everyone who met her can attest to that.

About a year and a half ago, I posted about her 'episodes', which lasted until her final days. But as bad as those were, and they did get worse in my opinion, it's almost nothing compared to the overall deterioration she suffered.

In her final year of life, she began losing hearing, her sense of smell, and I believe even her eyesight. She was exhibiting signs of dementia, constantly walking in circles, or getting lost on the way outside or back inside, as well as just aimlessly wandering around the house. She was in pain, as she did not like being touched on most parts of her body, making it almost impossible to pet her. She couldn't jump up onto the couch or bed, and often had trouble getting up the stairs of our home. In some cases she'd have to be picked up and carried, which caused her to snap at whoever was attempting to help; something she never did before. For most of her life, she was the most gentle creature in the world.

She had a growth on her eye as well, some weird thing that looked like a glob of goo or something. Whatever it was, there was little that could be done; any treatment would have required her to be put under, and because of her age, there was too large of a chance that she wouldn't be able to wake up. And this would repeat with the situation that ultimately led us to deciding to put her to sleep.

One day, my ex wife had me make an appointment for Evvy, as it appeared she had an abscess tooth, something she's had before many times throughout her life. However, it turned out to be much, much worse. We never found out exactly what it was, but the vet quickly found out that she had a growth, a tumor in her mouth. And it was large. Very large.

As in the case of that growth on her eye, we were left with very little options. Any diagnosis or treatment would have involved anesthesia, which is something that at her age (16) would have meant a strong possibility that she would not wake up. We were basically given four options:

Option 1, attempt to find out what was wrong and fix it. This would involve blood tests, x-rays, and a biopsy. A biopsy would require the anesthesia.

Option 2, just treat. Put her under (anesthesia) and just operate not knowing exactly what it was.

Both of these options came with the overwhelming risk that should she be put under, she would never wake up due to her age. There was also a very real possibility that this tumor would turn out to be cancerous, and it was entirely possible that we could have found out that the cancer had spread.

Option 3 would be to just monitor and see how it progressed.

Option 4 was euthanasia.

Options 1 and 2 were out of the question. The chances at her age of her not surviving just seemed cruel to risk it with what she'd be put through. We were not ready for option 4. So we went with simply monitoring. What else could we do?

It didn't take long, maybe a week or two, before this tumor became so large that it could no longer be concealed in her mouth. Basically, it was now clearly visible whether her mouth was open or closed. She even had trouble eating because of it. And it wasn't just growing outward, it was growing inward as well. Eventually, it was going to grow so far inward that it would cause unknown damage. So it really was just a matter of time.

Then came the final day.

Before I get into this, I want to give a brief insight into life at my house. Ever since the separation, my ex kept Evvy in her room at night. She had a dog bed for Evvy at the foot of her bed, since the poor thing couldn't get up onto the bed. My ex tends to go to bed early, so around 8 PM I would give Evvy her bedtime snack, take her outside, and then one way or another, get her to my ex's room.

In the mornings, typically early, my ex would get up and come downstairs, bringing Evvy with her. We had another dog bed downstairs, and that's where Evvy would spend probably 75% of her day. When I would get up, I'd go downstairs, get my coffee, and often let Evvy out. Around 8 AM, whomever got to it first would give Evvy her breakfast.

5 PM would be Evvy's dinner.

Rinse and repeat.

I also want to point out that all of her meals were laced with medications, primarily pain killers and cough suppressants, all aimed at keeping her comfortable. These worked to varying degrees, and in fact, sometimes, that happy puppy would shine through; she would bounce and hop, get excited for dinner, and even allow anyone around her to pet her. These were very welcomed moments where she was who she had always been before. It gave hope; maybe just false hope.

So on her last night, Evvy had trouble getting up the stairs. She tried twice, and both times tumbled down. The second time was especially bad as she fell at least halfway down. I was trying my best to catch her, to steady her, but that only caused her to snap at me viciously. I ultimately had to bare it and pick her up and carry her, which caused even more snapping. The next morning, my ex knocked on my door in a panic.

She informed me that the tumor opened up and bled; Evvy was bleeding heavily. It wasn't so much that there was imminent danger of her bleeding out, but it was enough that it could not be ignored. It was enough that we knew we had to make a decision, and at that point, there really seemed to be only one decision to make. Her tumor was actively bleeding, and even though it slowed down a little, it never stopped. Any option to fix would lead us right back to the initial problem; anesthesia and the risks that runs for a dog of 16.

As heartbreaking as it was, and still is to this day, we knew we had to let her go. We had to end her pain; her suffering.

We quickly made an appointment and gathered those who wanted - or simply needed - to be there.

The honest truth was that I never really wanted a pet. I love animals, but the pain of losing them has always been too much for me. And I have never experienced this before; having to make that decision, having to choose to put them to sleep. Any previous pet I had as a child or young adult died without warning. Hit by a car, old age, or run away, gone so long you just know they are probably no longer living.

When I was 18 or 19, my childhood cat died while my parents were out of town. I came home to find him in the driveway with no real indications of exactly what happened. He was old, so I always just assumed it was age related. I thought that that was one of the worst things to experience, coming home to find a loved one dead in the driveway. I was wrong.

The vet tried to be comforting. He had been very supportive overall, from the moment Evvy's health started to decline in so many ways. And with this tumor, he said that there was no wrong choice; that whatever we decided would be something he would support. But in that moment, in that room, there are no words that can actually comfort a grieving family. I'll spare the details, but watching my sweet puppy take her last breaths is something that I still cannot get out of my head. I see it almost every single time I close my eyes.

And now I am plagued with guilt. Guilt for making the decision to end her life; maybe I should have tried more to keep her with us? Guilt for not making the decision sooner; her health and well-being had been deteriorating for over a year, possibly two, so why did we take so long? Why did we prolong her suffering?

I also keep wishing that I had chosen not to be there in the room, which also makes me feel guilty. After all, I was there for her in the first place. I wanted her to be as at peace as possible. And what could make my sweet puppy feel more at peace than being surrounded by people who loved her, who she loved deeply, all there for her. And from her perspective, she simply got sleepy and dozed off, surrounded by such love (I constantly tell myself this, as if to make it better. To convince myself of what she must have understood as if it could make things better; it doesn't). We all did this for her. How dare I even think about not being there?

The first few weeks without Evvy were excruciatingly tough, especially that day; obviously. She took her last breath early afternoon. I was broken, of course. I didn't care; I went out and got some whiskey. My day was done. But that didn't stop instinct from kicking in at 5 PM. I literally had to remind myself that there was no need to prepare her meal.

At 8 PM, it was the same basic thing.

The next morning I got up like normal. I am not a morning person, so I function mostly on routine. I get up, go straight downstairs and to the coffee. Except for this morning, as I hit the bottom of the steps and turned towards the kitchen, my heart sank as I noticed the empty dog bed and it hit me. She was gone.

And even after that, when my daily reminder went off to take my pills at 8 AM, a reminder that had served a dual use for years, I STILL had a moment where I almost went to get her meal ready.

For weeks these kinds of moments continued. Not too long after, my ex put the cat's food dish down next to the water bowl. We've always kept the cat food dishes up somewhere Evvy cannot reach, and right next to the water bowl is where Evvy used to be fed. I actually opened my mouth to say, 'What are you doing? The dog'll eat that!' when it hit me again.

After a few days, my ex came to me crying, asking me to do something with the dog beds. I grabbed her bed from my ex's room, then the one from downstairs, and several blankets that had become hers. I put them through the washer and dryer, then just boxed them up and set them in the garage.

A good two or three weeks later, my ex and I were going to watch something downstairs, a YouTube video if I remember correctly. She was cold and grabbed a blanket and immediately began crying; it smelled like Evvy. I grabbed it, and I could smell it too.

Like I said, I never wanted a pet, and this is exactly why. But Evvy came to us in a very unique and special way.

It was 2007. Our youngest child had just been born, maybe two months prior. A coworker of my wife-at-the-time was going through a divorce, and long story short, they had to get rid of their one year old Jack Russel Terrier. They came to us because they didn't know anyone else that had the resources to care for a dog. The coworker was going to be living in an apartment that didn't allow pets. Their next option was going to be their last; the pound.

With a newborn in the house, we were of course very hesitant. We didn't want an animal that could potentially harm our baby; but we also hated the idea of an animal going to the pound (if Lady and the Tramp has taught me anything). We had the coworker bring this puppy over just to see how she would handle being around a newborn.

When they arrived, this springy, bouncy, energetic ball of pup came hopping in, barking and racing all around. She went from person to person, sniffing and licking and pawing at every new person. Then she saw the baby, sprawled out on the floor. We all held our breath, waiting on edge, ready to jump in and intervene.

But this ball of energy calmed right down, crouched on the floor, and sort of presented herself to the baby. She put her paw out or something, very gently. Then the baby grabbed hold of the puppy's ear and tugged; hard enough that it at least looked painful.

Everyone gasped, literally.

Evvy, however, just took it. She didn't react.

We of course jumped in, got the baby's hand free and picked him up. Then Evvy just went back to hopping and springing all around. It was official; we were hers. And the real test; she would be great around our newborn - something that was proven again and again over the course of 15 years.

The coworker had given us a laser pointer. Evvy, like a cat, loved to chase around the little red dot. I would navigate it along the floor, then up a wall; Evvy could get at least 4 feet off the ground, running up the length of a wall or door. Outside she'd chase the red dot, or any ball, and she'd equally soar at least 4 feet off the ground, back-flipping all the while.

She was so sweet too. She'd jump up on the couch with you and lay her head in your lap, or put her back against your legs. She'd also too often just crawl onto your lap; she seriously believed that she was a lap-dog even though she was just too big for that realistically.

This really was Evvy for at least the first 13 years that we had her. I remember someone once telling us that with Jack Russel Terriers, they are basically puppies their whole lives; they just go and go until one day they stop. This was true for Evvy, at least up until the last year, maybe two.

I know that everyone always says that the joy an animal brings you for 90% of their time is worth the 10% of grief and sorrow you feel at their loss. That sounds great on paper, and I'm trying so hard to believe it, to experience it. But all I can feel right now is loss and sorrow. Pain. Regret. I miss her so much I cannot begin to articulate it; no, this writing here hasn't even scratched the surface. I'm broken right now. And have been since we lost her; no, longer. Like I said earlier, she had been deteriorating for at least a year, maybe two.

For months - and I mean months - I'd come home and everything about her was so different that it pained me. I absolutely hated seeing what she was going through, what she was becoming. Too many times to count, she'd be asleep, but I'd have to watch her for signs of breath, or shake her to make sure she was still alive. And every single time she had one of her 'episodes' my very soul shattered.

I want to focus on the good times; I want to remember the joy. But right now, at the very least, I can't. Right now I am broken. If you never knew her, I wish you did. Goddamn she was so special.

Rest in peace my sweet, forever puppy; Evvy.

Blog: To the Loss of a Pet

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 17:29:33 GMT

To the Loss of a Pet posted by TANieman on August 20, 2022:

The pain that comes with loss is something that almost everyone understands. Inevitably in this life, you will lose someone. And I think for the most part, everyone gets that. If you lose a parent, sibling, friend, partner…everyone understands the potential jumble of emotions that come with that.

But what about losing a pet? Is it socially acceptable to spend years missing a furry companion? Or will people think poorly of you that you didn't “just get over it” right away?

Well, the answer to those questions is, I don't care.

Recently, I lost my dog that I had for 15 years. She was a Jack Russell Terrior and we got her when she was one year old. My youngest was only months old, and never knew a time when we didn't have her.

Evvy was a happy puppy: she loved everyone, jumped and licked on whoever was closest. She curled up with any of us when we were sick, she played catch really well, loved to jump and catch the ball and enjoyed a laser pointer more than any dog I'd ever met.

Four of us were with her when she passed, in the vet's office after battling several medical issues. I cannot properly express the gambit of emotions that went through me as she peacefully died. It was the most traumatic moment of my life, knowing that I had made a decision that brought her here, in this moment, to lose her life. That I knew she was in pain and we couldn't manage it anymore. That I had to say, it's better for YOU to do this than to keep you alive just for me and my family.

When you are forced into this kind of situation, this kind of decision, I feel certain that it changes you. You made a decision to end someone's life. And because it's a pet doesn't diminish the pain you feel from it.

I will never forget feeling her take her last breath. Watching her still, on the blanket in the vet's office knowing that I would never see her again. I'll never feel her cuddle with me again, or play catch with her, or struggle through bathing her.

And while this is pain at it's highest degree, I take comfort in the other things I'll never have. I'll never have to see her snap at me or wince in pain. I'll never have to steer her toward the back door because she was confused about where she was supposed to go. I'll never have to force her into taking pills she doesn't want, just to keep her feeling better.

Evvy was 16 years old and suffered from a collapsing trachea, kidney disease and had some form of dementia.

I take comfort, only a little, that she is no longer in pain. And I know I gave her the best years of my life while I loved her unconditionally. But it doesn't help the pain really go away. It doesn't solve the ache in my chest as I remember her.

Day in and day out, I miss her.

And whether society thinks it's ok or not to be this upset over a pet, I couldn't care less. My pain is MINE and I will do what I can, and what I need, to move on.

Blog: Thoughts on Stranger Things Season Four

Sun, 10 Jul 2022 20:22:26 GMT

Thoughts on Stranger Things Season Four posted by RPLauer on July 10, 2022:

Please Note: The following post was written before the passing of my family dog. This has been a very traumatic experience for myself, as well as my entire family. I had originally intended to do some massive cleanup here, but now I just cannot bring myself to care enough. I had thought about leaving this for a while and seeing if time could help heal some of my pain, and therefore bring more clarity. But in all honestly, I just want this done and out of the way.

So please keep that in mind while reading. Thank you. With that said:

Recently I posted about my thoughts on the fate of a certain character. Now I figured I may as well give my thoughts on the entirety of Stranger Things Season Four. As I said in that previous post, the internet really is ablaze with a variety of reactions on almost all aspects of this season, its events, and its characters. I don't know how much I'll tackle specifically, simply because so much of it has already been said by so many others, and I don't want to disgustingly regurgitate all of it.

But hopefully, I can have my own take on at least some of the aspects that are lighting up conversations all around? Please keep in mind that I'm not going to go too in-depth here, at least in some details. I'm not going to describe things as if speaking to someone who's never seen this show, or this season. If you are reading this, and have not seen season four, or Stranger Things itself, then what are you doing reading this? Go watch it right now!!

Warning: SPOILERS BELOW.

Overall I really enjoyed this season. The story itself is interesting and compelling on many levels. However, I will say that in my personal opinion, the entirety of the season feels a little over-bloated; I truly believe that some massive editing and tightening could have done wonders. There are many places where scenes and moments just drag on, either for dramatic purposes or just for over-clarification. Sometimes it can work, but many times it seemed without true purpose.

For example, near the end of the very first episode, the shots cut back and forth to and from a D&D game, as well as a sports-ball game. I understand the idea of trying to draw up some tension, but the way it plays out really does feel like needless padding as neither of these moments felt worthy of the build-up. I'm not saying to rush through either of these scenes, it just didn't need to be dragged out quite so long. It's just a roll of the dice and a game-winning shot, the outcome of neither being any surprise, nor legitimately adding anything to the plot as a whole.

Had that been the only moment that went on a little too long, I would not say anything. But this type of situation carries throughout the entire season. And since the runtime of the episodes have been pushed to near movie-length features, anything that could have shaved off a moment or two would have been appreciated.

A few storylines also felt a little over-blown. Hopper and Eleven both have important events to get through, but in both Russia and the underground missile silo, time kept dragging while waiting for them to reach their goals. It feels like a lot of story beats are repeated in one way or another, and in the case of Eleven, dragging out the mystery seems to take too much priority (in my opinion).

This season also really LOVED flashbacks. Like, seriously loved flashbacks. Some were necessary, others were not. And in some cases, the flashbacks from this very season felt like the writers thought very little of their audiences' intelligence. As in the scene where Max is reading the personal files for the other victims; the very second the camera showed the words 'nosebleed' and 'headache', I knew exactly what was going on. But instead of letting the audience get there on their own, they had to show flashbacks of Max having nosebleeds and taking painkillers. Then to add insult to injury (so to speak), she flat out explains that she's been having headaches and nosebleeds, rendering the flashbacks unnecessary no matter how you look at it.

These could all be seen as nitpicks, and perhaps they are. It's just that in my opinion, this entire season could have been so much more enjoyable if the overall experience had been tighter. As it is, I'd say that this is my second favorite season of the series so far, and the only thing that kept it from taking that top spot was its pacing and (what I felt as) padding.

I also feel like some characters didn't have all that much purpose overall. Jonathan, Will, and Mike, for example, really don't have much to do. Yes, they have a few important moments, but these really are just 'moments' out of a massive amount of storytelling. With so many mouths to feed, it's probably inevitable that some will go hungry; it's just a shame in my opinion.

At this point, one might be wondering what I actually DID like about it. Well, buckle up!

Eddie. Just, Eddie. Oh my God, what can I say about this dude? At first, he comes across as a typical over-blown annoying stereotype, and I was immediately thinking: “Please let him die now so that I don't have to sit through this crap for too long!”

But he is quickly shown in a lighter note when he first meets up with Chrissy, and his fear, agony, and confusion at the climax of their second outing show that there is way more to this character than what was first offered. And the rest of his time on screen was just magnificent!

Now, I have seen WAY too much chatter around his demise, and how 'dirty' he was done. While I will say with no doubt that his death was devastating, and his loss will certainly be felt, it was extremely obvious. His arch was very well telegraphed early on, so the fact that he did die came as no surprise; to me at least. And let's face it, what good for the character would have come had he survived? The entire town, including the police force, firmly believed him to be a killer. Had he returned from the upside-down, his future would have been either a lifetime in prison, or at the very least, a lifetime as an outcast in every way, shape, and form following his acquittal due to lack of evidence.

And at least he got a better arch than characters such as Benny, Barb, Bob, Alexei, and Chrissy. If you really want to talk about a character being done dirty, how about the sweet and kind cheerleader who gave us the first on-screen taste of Vecna's wrath? That really was one hell of a horror that first time.

That leads me to another bit of greatness; Vecna aka Henry aka One (or should I simply say 001?). Now, the friendly orderly did seem a bit obvious to me as being the mythical '001', but his ultimate reveal as Vecna and how he became such? Pure gold! Granted, he (Vecna specifically) did come across a little TOO Freddie Kruegerish, which is of course the point in a series that maybe goes too far at times in blurring that line between homage and flat-out plagiarism. And it is maybe a little too on the nose having the OG Krueger as his father/surviving victim. But, I'll go ahead and give it a pass. (That was a joke, son.)

I cannot speak about Vecna without going into the true villain of the season; Jason (and his gang). Words cannot express how much I hated that jackass! I've seen some random people trying to defend him, saying that his actions were justified because he truly believed that Eddie killed his girlfriend. To that, I say, No. Just no. Ignorance and stupidity are NOT justifications for murder, and from the very beginning, that was his goal; to murder Eddie. And he (as well as his gang) was clearly willing, especially towards the end, to maim and murder anyone that got in his way.

His buddy, a high school senior jock, tackled and threatened to break the arms of an eighth-grade girl for crying out loud!

His sole mission was for vengeance, but he did not care if he got the right person, which automatically invalidates his quest from the beginning. When he started, NO ONE said that Eddie actually did it. He was being sought for questioning, but there are a million reasons to want to question someone in any investigation. And let's be real, he jumped to conclusions based solely on a preexisting prejudice and hatred of Eddie. If you truly want justice, or even straight-up vengeance, you should ALSO want to make sure that you are going to seek the correct person. Otherwise, you are just another psychopath.

So, just [expletive] him, and his gang.

One thing I'd like to address, though I will do my best to tread lightly, is Will. I see a lot of irritation in various members of the fanbase that his sexuality isn't being clearly addressed. I do not know if I am the right person to speak on this; I am not from the community that I believe may want this addressed the most, so my opinion on the matter probably isn't that important.

What I will say, however, is that from my perspective, it does feel like they are trying to address it as best that they can, while also remaining somewhat realistic. Again, as I am not a member of that community, I cannot say what is or isn't true or valid. But from what I have seen others go through, the act of 'coming out' - in whatever form that may be - can be excruciatingly difficult. With the pain, anxiety, and fear, the decision to 'come out' is not something that anyone can (at least typically) take lightly. Even today.

I personally think that the bigger problem with Will is that he's not really a character in the first place; he's a prop. He was the focal point of the first season, but he was literally just a prop, a goal if you will. And the way I see it, they never really got out of that mindset with his character.

Anyway, back to topic. In a story set in a rural 80's 'hick' town, I just can't imagine too many people being comfortable taking that step overall. So I honestly don't know. On one hand, I feel that they are handling it decently enough. On
another, maybe it could have been handled better?

On a similar note, however, I do want to say that I really like the way Robin's storyline has been handled in regard to her sexuality. And mostly in one very specific way. She came out to Steve, but possibly only because they had both been drugged. And even though Steve has had plenty of reasons to relay that information to someone else - from Dustin constantly telling him to 'get with her', to trying to assure Nancy that there is nothing between them (though I have to admit I do not care for this love triangle going on) - he has kept her confidence. It's a small detail, but I really like that aspect.

There is something else I'd like to mention; this isn't really a gripe exactly, and it's certainly not praise. It's more along the lines of, huh? It's said at some point that prior to season four, Vecna couldn't open gates himself. I forget the exact wording, but it's something along the lines of how he learned of this ability through watching Eleven, and how for previous seasons he basically waited for someone else to open one up in order to stage any kind of attack (through his minions, aka the mind flayer and the demogorgon). And it's only now, in season four, that he's figured out how to do so through psychic connection formed during his kills (or something along those lines).

The problem with this is that various gates were clearly opening and closing throughout season one. I cannot believe that the demogorgon came through the gate in Hawkins Lab, escaped the lab, captured Will, and then brought him back to the lab and through the gate. I also doubt Eleven had anything to do with whatever gate that was used in that event. We also have Barb and Nancy who go through gates at various times, and it is also implied that others who are not named disappeared in a similar fashion.

So, either I'm confused about how these gates work, or maybe the writers are? Maybe it can be explained away in season five, or just chalked up to a slight discrepancy.

I think that the last thing I'd like to say, in the most generic way possible (simply because to go into detail will bring this to absurd levels of length), I love the characters and the way that they interact with one another. That is actually the entire show's greatest strength in my opinion. There is so much that is amazing about these characters that that alone has - and will - always bring me back to this show and its world. They don't always get it right, but overall, there is something that is just so damned special about these characters, and the actors portraying them do a brilliant job bringing it all to life. Season four carries that on in wonderful ways!

This post is already pushing the limits of a tolerable length, so I'm just going to end here. I never intended to go into extreme depth, at least not in a single post. I just wanted to jot down a few things for no other reason than because I wanted to. I will probably do one more post devoted to Stranger Things, though that one will just be a breakdown of superficial thoughts and opinions on the previous three seasons, as well as ranking them (as I said already, this is my second favorite season). And at that point, I promise you, I'll be done - at least until the fifth and final season comes out!

I hope that you enjoyed these ramblings, and if you disagree, even if in large ways, I hope that you can express them kindly. Please try and remember that we all have different opinions, backgrounds, and experiences, and I know that I myself am never very good at expressing mine.

Thank you for taking the time to read this mess.

Blog: Stranger Things Season 4 - One Specific Fate

Sun, 03 Jul 2022 22:14:49 GMT

Stranger Things Season 4 - One Specific Fate posted by RPLauer on July 3, 2022:

The conclusion to season four of Stranger Things has dropped, and from my viewpoint, it's certainly been watched with massive excitement all over the US, if not the world. The internet is ablaze with reactions, and just for the hell of it, I'd like to add mine to the table. Specifically, I'd like to give my thoughts to a certain character's fate.

It should go without saying, but just to make it absolutely certain, MASSIVE SPOILERS are to follow. So DO NOT READ if you have yet to watch the final two episodes and plan to. I guess you can keep reading if you haven't watched and don't intend to do so, but if that is the case, I can only ask: Why are you even reading this in the first place?

So, spoilers ahead.

Got it?

Are you sure?

Ok then. You have been properly warned.

I don't know the best way to approach this, therefore, I'm just going to be blunt; Max is dead. Or, at the very least, her mind is. Her essence is - her 'soul' if you will. In the final episode, the events play out as follows:

Max levitates up into the air in the real world, while Vecna/Henry/One is doing whatever the hell it is he actually does inside her mind. Her limbs snap, and her eyes begin to bleed. And just as the finishing 'blows' are to be delivered, Eleven fights back inside of Max's mind, Vecna loses his control, and Max's body - in the real world - falls to the ground.

A gut-wrenchingly devastated Lucas holds her, and she dies in his arms.

More events follow, and I will get to them shortly, but at this point, Max dies. El does eventually revive her (her body), but for the moment, at least, it's too late; the damage is done.

Before I get to the events that took place between Max's death and resurrection, I want to point out a conversation in the previous episode. In episode eight, "Papa", Dr. Brenner says:

"When 'One' kills, he doesn't simply kill; he consumes. He takes everything from his victims, everything they are and everything they ever will be. Their memories, their abilities."

How he knows this, I do not know. But I highly doubt that it would be included if it were not true (though I guess worse retcons and explanations have been given before in fiction). For now, I can only go by what is actually presented.

With this knowledge in mind, once Max 'dies' in Lucas' arms, the clock chimes four, signaling that he has completed his task; taking four victims. The ground breaks open, and the worlds collide. Vecna has accomplished his goal. And if it is true that he 'consumes' his victims - which Max certainly is his victim as he was able to accomplish his task - then he has consumed everything that she is, and everything that she will be.

El may have revived her body, but Max's mind is gone.

To add to this conclusion, El is later shown trying to psychically connect to her catatonic friend, just to find no one there - 'there' meaning that void El goes to when taking these psychic trips. This tells me that there is no 'soul' (for lack of a better word) left inside Max.

Now, can this all be changed? Of course. Writers can write pretty much anything they want. Maybe once Vecna is killed for good, all of the 'souls' that he has consumed will be released, with Max's able to find its way back to her still living, breathing body. But this specific solution would absolutely mean that should she ultimately survive, her return will not come until the very end.

Also, I feel obligated to point out another depressing possibility; even if (I mean, when) Vecna is killed, there will be no souls left to release as they have already been consumed. You don't get the cake back just because you kill the one who ate it. (I know, I know, poor analogy.)

Finally, one other potential resolution could come in the form of an incomplete 'ritual' (for lack of a better word). Normally, the final blow comes in the form of the victims eyeballs popping (or something like that). Maybe, just maybe, the fact that Max's eyeballs never popped means that he was not able to 'consume' her essence, even though he still gets credit for her kill. Do our eyeballs possess our spirit, our soul, our very being? That's a very strange thought, though I guess it's appropriate given the name of the show.

What do you think? Do you agree with this? Am I off my rocker? Am I thinking too hard about what is ultimately an insignificant piece of fiction? Honestly, I just wanted to write about this because I really liked Max ever since her first appearance in the show; she was a great character and it's sad to think that she may be gone, left to wither away as a mindless chunk of flesh (too dark?).

Anyway, I do have thoughts on the season as a whole: characters, plotlines, enjoyment, etc. However, I wanted to specifically talk about this aspect, as I haven't really seen too many others even mention the possibilities of Max's fate; most seem to just see her as being 'alive'. Maybe in time I'll do another post going over anything else that feels worthy of mention.

Thank you for reading this slop of ramblings.

Blog: What does it mean to be vulnerable?

Sun, 06 Feb 2022 11:58:28 GMT

What does it mean to be vulnerable? posted by TANieman on February 6, 2022:

What does it mean to be vulnerable?

The dictionary definition was actually surprising to me. The 'capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt' didn't, but one of the definitions did:

'Willing to show emotion or to allow one's weaknesses to be seen or known: Men and boys are rarely seen as vulnerable.'

Reference: dictionary.com

What a weird thing to have in an actual dictionary. Specifically stating that men and boys aren't seen as vulnerable...the point of this blog wasn't to cover the unreasonable expectations of society in relation to generalized genders, but that did make me pause.

From my perspective, I see vulnerability as the first definition (and maybe the first part of the second one, comments about men and boys aside). To me, it has always meant to show your emotions, answer questions honestly and allowing your inner pain or turmoil to be seen by others. To allow others the opportunity to take your fears and exploit them.

This can be seen as simply as answering a daily question: How are you today? Who ever answers that honestly? "I'm fine." Is the normal answer, right? Does anyone ever really expect honesty when asking that question? The regular person, casual acquaintance, etc. is just asking to be polite - considering this is normal conversation. But what about those who you are close to? In my experience, they are asking because they want to know.

I've never been accused of having a 'poker face.' I always saw it as one of my vulnerabilities. If I am upset, sad or unhappy in any way, it shows on my face - and, unfortunately, displays in my voice. What this means to me is that when someone asks me that 'normal question' I always have a decision to make. Well, at least I have to ask myself several questions:

How well do I know this person? Can I be honest about how I'm feeling? Should I just play this off because I don't want to have a difficult conversation? How will they take it?

Can I open myself up to be vulnerable with this person?

It's always difficult for me to answer these questions, because the fear of rejection and hurt is great. It's happened, lots of times. Where I've trusted someone with my vulnerabilities and they have used them and exploited them. But it's not commonplace, not really. It's rare, yet for some reason I am still asking myself all those questions every single time.

Loneliness is something that has been great with me recently. It was expected, giving everything going on in my life, but it's also not an uncommon emotion. Lots of people feel it, yet I would estimate that most people don't want others to know. And the sad thing about that is, what would happen if you told someone that you are lonely? Would they tease you? If they do, that person is an asshole and you definitely don't need them in your life.

But most would commiserate, empathize or try to make you feel better. Yes, it is a normal emotion and lots experience it. Yet for some reason, it's extremely hard to talk about.

I think that as a society, we put so much pressure on others. We expect people to be happy even though I would argue that the majority of us aren't. No one could be all the time, anyway. It's hard to be vulnerable, though, simply because of those societal norms.

In the dead of night, when the loneliness creeps in and settles on my chest like dead weight, I often wonder what would happen if I told someone. If I reached out and said the dreaded words "I'm lonely." How would they react? Solution for you in the form of saying "get out there and meet people!" or "why don't you join a discord server or something with other people you can interact with?"

And maybe those are good solutions, but in my case, I don't want the solution. I'm that girl who is sitting by the bank of the ocean, staring into my personal type of peace who just wants that person to sit next to me. Maybe no words are necessary, maybe I just want that person to hold my hand and imbibe the feeling of companionship through the palms of their hands.

There are those who do want or need the solutions. The expectation of those who love you is that you will reach out when you need help. But that's also being vulnerable, isn't it? It's a terrifying thought for those of us who are scared of extending that branch to others.

My advice to others is to try that kind of vulnerability on for size. Maybe try with some people to wear it on your sleeve and give them the opportunity to, not exploit it, but just be there for you. You know who that is in your life, don't you? The person or people who are always there no matter what's going on in your life.

It's not meant to be easy at first. But maybe after you get used to extending that branch of vulnerability, and when you finally trust that person to not take your heart and crush it, you may finally find that peace that you seek.

And it doesn't have to be while sitting alone on the beach.

Blog: No Spoilers...Maybe

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 12:48:51 GMT

No Spoilers...Maybe posted by TANieman on January 28, 2022:

I always read the last chapter of a book before I officially start it.

Oh, I know, this is an unpopular thing...well, that's just me. I was doing that last night after getting a new book on my kindle to start and it got me thinking. Why do I do that?

I'm sure it's not because I am an uber control freak...

Um, ok, maybe that's a part of it.

Controlling the content to ensure it's going where I want it to? Making sure there's a happy ending at the end of the borrowed Kindle book? That could definitely be a contender for why.

But ultimately, I think I figured it out last night. At 3am when I couldn't sleep and I'd turned back to this new book - already knowing how it was going to end and comfortable to keep reading - I figured it out.

And it is a part of my control issues. I cannot control anything within my life, being too unpredictable as it always has been, though lately it's been even more chaotic. But I can control what I read and ensure that it's what I want to dive into.

But it really is more than that.

There is so much going on these days and unpredictable seems to be the word of the day. Some days reading is the only escape that I have and, my goodness, is it needed. There is a form of desperation that I feel now and then to just escape into the words and find myself immersed in a different, happier world. The audiobook narrator or the words written on the page jump out and pull me inside, warming my skin and my heart with the story.

That desperation can be consuming for a word addict like me. Some days the addiction shows in the form of me writing things - a blog, for instance? - and others it's consumption of the already written word. Books and audiobooks of all shapes and sizes fill my phone and my heart and make my life just that much easier.

So, now that I've come out as a "word addict", let me get back to my original point - since the words are just vomiting out of me this morning. Reading the ending. Right, that's where I was.

And why do I do that? The control, the ensuring the book is going somewhere I need it to...but is that the end of it? 3am is the time for deep thoughts, many of which may be gone by the next morning, but last night is still with me this morning.

And this is the crux of it, my friends: I don't like surprises.

I secretly find myself searching for spoilers for movies I want to see, reading the last chapter of a book first, writing the ending of my own stories before I begin them for real...and maybe it does just boil down to me trying to control an aspect of my life while so much of it can't be controlled right now, but ultimately I think it's because I'm scared of not getting what I want. Of that surprise coming in at the end and not being what I had hoped.

Well, that can't be true. There have been many endings that weren't what I expected, but I found that I enjoyed them anyway. Maybe it's just that I have to know how things are going to end before I start them. Truly, that could be it.

And now I've rambled for a while. What about you? Do you read the ending of the book first before you decide if you will start it? Or am I a crazy person? (Please don't answer that last question)

Blog: What To Do With MOBI Files

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 13:36:05 GMT

What To Do With MOBI Files posted by RPLauer on September 3, 2021:

Recently I ran a Twitter poll, asking those who use Kindle if they know what to do with a MOBI file. MOBI files are what Kindle uses, or at least one of the formats, which allows you to change font sizes and other fun stuff. Instead of a static page like PDF, MOBI is flexible.

The results of the poll showed that most people do know what to do with these files, should they find one out on the internet (like here on my site, where the first half of my novel, The Scars of Gaia, can be downloaded). However, there was a decent enough group who did not. So, I'd just like to take a moment and let you know how you can take advantage of these files and use them with your account.

Amazon will assign a unique email address to each of your Kindle devices, with the exception of a PC; the program on a PC has an import feature so that you can import any compatible files directly. But for all other devices, you can email compatible files to the unique address that Amazon assigns.

Where do you get this email address? Well, that is what I hope to help you with.

So first and foremost, on a web browser, go to amazon.com and login to your account. At the top of the page, it should say something like “Hello, [NAME]” and then “Account & Lists” right under that. Hover your mouse there and choose “Content & Devices”.

From there, find the links near (but not at) the top. It will say, “Manage your content and devices” and one of the links says “Devices”. Click that.

On this page there are one or two sections of interest, depending on what you have. If you have an Amazon device like a Kindle Fire, there will be a section for those devices specifically. If you use Kindle apps on another brand of tablet or phone, you will see “Kindle on x devices”.

If it's an Amazon device, you click on that section and a box will display with your devices.

If you use apps, click on that section and it will load a page with all devices that currently have the Kindle App registered.

Alternatively, you can load up your Kindle App on your device of choice, and click the “MORE” option.

Click on “SETTINGS” which will show you your “Send to Kindle Email Address” section (for me it was the 5th section.

So now that you have the email address for your device of choice, simply compose a new message from your email client (Gmail, Yahoo, etc) and attach the file, then send the email. Within minutes, so long as the file is correct, the file will show up on that device! You can send PDFs, MOBIs, and Word docs (DOC, DOCX). ePubs are a no go, and I am not sure about other file types.

A PDF will be a static file, but Word docs and MOBI files will act just like any other book you purchase on Kindle, more or less.

I hope this helps, and if you want a quick way to try this out, you can download the MOBI files for the first half of The Scars of Gaia and the two short stories, Stories From Gaia!

Thank you, and I hope you will forgive my shameless plug!

Blog: R.P. Lauer Reviews: Layers: A Collection of Short Stories by Zuzanne Belec

Sat, 28 Aug 2021 19:21:35 GMT

R.P. Lauer Reviews: Layers: A Collection of Short Stories by Zuzanne Belec posted by RPLauer on August 28, 2021:

The following is primarily a backup of the review I left on Goodreads and Amazon for the book, Layers: A Collection of Short Stories by Zuzanne Belec.

Google Search

Blurb from the author:

Eight short stories on the power of the human spirit.

Layers is a debut collection of imaginative short stories celebrating life and the human spirit despite the ever-present spectre of melancholy in our lives today. With their distinctive blend of wit and humour, they light up any underlying darkness.

From the Americas to India, from Africa to Europe, and through a range of genres, voices and styles, layers are unraveled, revealing the textures and contrasts of old and new in the environments and cultures of today's fast-paced world.

With vivid descriptions, we are drawn into enchanting worlds with characters that leap off the page, leaving the reader lingering long after the pages have been read.

'Layers: A Collection of Short Stories' is just that; a collection of short stories, by Zuzanne Belec. There's not a lot I can say about this, other than the fact that it was a delightful read! These are all stories that have some sort of twist or 'got ya' moment at the end, where most of the fun is not knowing what is going on, or where the story is heading, and then trying to guess with each new detail. Even a brief plot blurb would potentially ruin the journey in my opinion.

There is one in particular that I do wish had been more than just a short story. It involves a death investigation (no, that does not reveal anything), and the investigative tool itself presented an extremely interesting idea. I'd absolutely love to see this method explored more in its own full-lengthed story.

Just as in shows like The Twilight Zone, the majority of these stories do end in a bit of tragedy, though one specifically was maybe a little too heartbreaking for my soul. But, I won't hold that against the author; some realities of life are too powerful (even if in a sad way) to be ignored in fiction.

Overall, if you are a fan of these types of tales - again, smaller stories that end in twist or shock - then I highly recommend picking this up! I look forward to seeing Belec does in the future, should she write full-lengthed novels.

Please check out Zuzanne Belec on her Website, Amazon Page, Goodreads or Twitter